The Battle to End all Battles: When Worms Attack!

My family and I have just been through the most epic battle in the history of mankind. It was akin to Muhammad Ali’s Rumble in the Jungle or the Battle of Gallipoli – One solidified a legend forever while the other ended with much loss of life. That battle was like both those fights – it ended in huge casualties, and people will remember this day in history forever.

It was just the four of us against the enemy. It wasn’t any ordinary enemy, it wasn’t Jemaah Islamiah, or even the Australian Taxation Office. Rather, it was worms. Lots and lots of them!!

(At least, I THINK it was those worms. For those of you who went to Christian Outreach College Toowoomba, it was those little black fuzzy worms that often came around – what were those?)

Anyway, the trouble started around 4 days ago, when we opened our doors and saw them. THEY – WERE – EVERYWHERE!! Not just a single one, or “just-a-freaking-few”. There could easily have been several hundred worms spread out all over our entranceway and steps – crawling all over and on the walls, and basically making themselves at home. Well, after our original disgust, my family did the brave and right thing – we declared war.

And thus the war begun. Originally, we used a Mortein Fly Spray on them (we didn’t have any worm spray) and swept them away. That’ll show them, we thought. Oh, how wrong we were.

We grossly underestimated them. When we woke up the next morning, the worms were back. It was like a freaking “Left 4 Dead” moment – the worms were like zombies coming for us, and they wouldn’t die! That scared me half to death!!

So, we may have lost the first battle, but the war wasn’t over yet. Using the spray again, as well as the hose to get the worms off our wall, we swept them away again, this time even taking the time to crush some of their resistance (squash them underfoot…..literally). We went to bed, thinking we had won. Not even close.

Again, the nasty little buggers came back. They were swarming everywhere – and i swear, some had magic powers: they managed to infiltrate our house THROUGH a locked door. No matter what we did, they kept coming back.

And so, we caved and did the very thing that we loathed: We called the Brisbane Council for help. They came and provided us with an amazing…..Mortein Cockroach Spray!! And amazingly, it worked. We routed the worms and sent them to worm hell, wriggling in their death throes of agony.

We defeated the worms, and victory had never felt so sweet. Nothing like killing fuzzy worms to get the adrenaline running, eh?

So, a few things were learnt today:

  1. Worms are like zombies. Just when you think you’ve killed them all, they’ll come back and invade again.
  2. Worms have superpowers. They can go through locked doors and are fly spray resistant. And they will come get you!
  3. Council workers can actually be useful sometimes. Who knew?

Do you have any tips to keep the worms at bay? Leave a comment here and tell us about it!

  1. Ahhh yes. Maybe those worms saw//heard//played the video game “Worms” and were forever inspired to be at war!!!

    • True that….pity we didn’t have a flamethrower or a bazooka….or even a “Holy Hand Grenade”….

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