Posts Tagged ‘ cullen ’

A Series of Unfortunate Medical Tests (Part 1)

Good day, all my faithful readers! (Probably all two of you) I am so sorry I have not been updating at all, but due to the high pressures of exam and cramming, the mad rush of packing, and my general laziness, this blog has been basically left stagnant. My apologies, and I shall try to update more often….though why you people want to know about my boring life I’ll never understand.

So, since I last updated, I finished 4 exams and I arrived back in the country of Singapore. For those of you who do not know what Singapore is, let me explain. It is a tiny island just above the equator, it’s really hot and humid, and apparently has a nice airport with free internet. That last one was from my friend, who told everyone to go to Singapore because of the free internet. Figures.

Anyway, I had to return to Singapore for a fortnight because of something called National Service, which in other words is akin to the old ‘gang-pressing’ methods of the 19th century, where unsuspecting people would be coshed and wake up on a ship somewhere in the Atlantic, forced into service. Today, the government uses legislation and the police, but you can see the similarities. The problem is that their victims of choice are not hardy soldiers rising up to fight the forces of evil:

But instead are more like these:

Though I have to admit, if we ever face The Covenant, the Singaporean Army would kick their butts.

Moving on now, I had to report to an undisclosed location for a medical checkup and other stuff. So, let me bring you the deets with a play-by-play analysis:

Station 1: Photo Taking.

Okay, first of all, there was a really old Chinese guy giving us instructions. He went on to measure our head and waist and shoe size, and then give us a long talk about how to take our photos properly. His soft, soothing voice put me to sleep immediately.

Kids, you know how people tell you to pay attention in class or you might miss out something? Well, that happened to me. Apparently I “didn’t style my hair right”, and he sent me back 3 freakin’ times! And then, when I still didn’t do it right, instead of kindly telling me where I went wrong, he used me as a model for the next bunch! He even practically poured water upon my head to style it. So, after that, I kindly told him where to painfully put his camera and tripod in his rear and walked out.

Station 2: Computer Check

While I hoped for a James Bond-esque style computer entry software that scanned my fingerprints and retina before burning a binary ID tattoo upon my palm, instead I had to update my personal details on Windows XP and IE6. Who even uses IE6 anymore?

Station 3: Urine Test

Not gonna get into much detail here…..but let’s just say that the guy in charge was oddly excitable and jocular for someone in that capacity. Hmm…..

Station 4: Blood Test

Apparently they haven’t got Edward Cullen to do these yet. At least then he can use his powers for good instead of harrassing poor little teenage girls and pubescent werewolves with anger problems.

This guy has harassed us for far too long. Who’s with me?

Sorry, where were we? I got blood drawn out of me by a young guy that looked like he was still in med school. What scared me more was that he wasn’t even concentrating, but rather he was talking to the other male nurse (heh heh…male nurse) throughout. But since I’m not dead yet, it must have been okay.

After that, I got shown over to a older guy and was asked to complete….wait for it…a survey! I swear, only in Singapore will this happen. Even when I was doing it, the older guy was making jokes aboout how he was going to get fired (aptly acted out with an “Oh no, I’m drowning” gesture) everytime I marked ‘Dissatisfied’. So, just for him, I marked most of them as ‘SLIGHTLY Dissatisfied’. Aren’t I nice?

Station 5: Hearing Test

Basically, this station involved a soundproof chamber and someone outside playing high-pitched sounds. If you could hear them, you raised your hand, and so on. It was pretty straightforward. I did consider stuffing around by putting my hand up randomly when the girl outside preferred to talk on the phone rather than start my test, but I’m too nice.


And….that’s it. Nah, just kidding. I’ll give you the rest soon, since this post is getting waaay too long.

One more thing: Does anybody know what an ‘Enlarged Aortic Valve’ is? I read it on someone’s chart and I got curious. What is it? Is it deadly? What are the consequences? Will that person die? Or is he just even more awesome?

Alright, I’m gonna go off and smell the fresh air (coloured with a dash of burning insense), look at the stars (which haven’t been seen since the start of the 20th century thanks to the pollution) and eat some delicious food. Though I might style my hair properly too as well. I don’t want a slightly feminine Chinese man with a camera using me as a model again….

If you have any questions, remarks, or insults, remember to leave a comment!


A Guy’s Review of Twilight – Preface and Chapter One

Ever seen a sane (emphasis on sane) male human read Twilight? Yeah, that’s what I thought. But I am going to brave the waters, wade forward, and bring you a male perspective on the romance novel taking the world by storm. Chapter by chapter, an honest analysis will be given right here.


Bella has some emo thoughts. Though it’s probably justified, as someone’s going to kill her. She’s quite nonchalant about the killer part as well.

This is the first page of the book, and it does a good job of whetting appetite. What’s going to happen next? Who is going to kill her? And so on. Stephenie Meyer does a good job at making the reader interested…and the nonchalance actually adds to the suspense.

Seriously, though, the beginning does leave a lot to be desired. Another blog has said something that I have to agree with: Killers don’t saunter. That conflicting language of sauntering to kill people brings up images of a badly done Batman musical film starring a whistling Joker. Though this could mean a clown is going to attack Bella. Hmmm…. 7/10

Chapter 1:

Bella arrives in Forks, gets set up at home with her dad, and goes to school. Not only does she have to face the indignities of being a new student, but she also spots the Cullens for the first time. They are smoking hot. -.- In Biology class, Edward acts antagonistic towards Bella, glaring and furious. Later, Bella finds that Edward is trying to change out of Biology, but fails to get his way. Confused, Bella drives home, “fighting tears the whole way there”.

Bella gets a truck? Cool! The most my dad got for me was a car made by Mattel©. But who doesn’t want to ride around in a police cruiser all day?

Seriously, though, her day in school started off pretty mundanely. Overfriendly students, teachers who ignored or embarrassed you, huge, puzzling school…yup, all there. I can totally relate.

But what I can’t relate to is that of Edward being antagonistic. Firstly, there are always HOT kids in school, and they are usually in an exclusive group of their own. Unfriendly strangers are part of the norm. However, someone being furious with you for nothing is annoying, but is it really something to cry over? Yes, it’s weird, yes it’s shocking to find out that someone is changing out of the class that you’re in, most likely because of you…but crying? Annoyed, yes. Anger, yes. But grief and tears? Must be a girl thing. Watch the cute guy in school walk away from you, and step back and see the waterworks.

All that aside, Stephenie Meyer has started off the tale well…and the good thing about it is that it starts off like any other school story – who could tell that it was about vampires? It was not obvious, and just begs the question of how she’s going to get through Edward’s fury. Good writing, and flows well. 8/10


So overall, good job so far. While it is a little unbelievable that she would be so upset over Edward being angry (I know the feeling – the hot guy hates me now! -.- Come on!), Stephenie Meyer’s writing style flows very well and allows readers to feel one with the story, like they’re living in it. Not bad so far.

And my favourite part? She gets a truck. What up?!?!

Stay tuned for the next part of the Twilight Review from a guy’s perspective! Leave a comment and tell us what you think!

The Twilight Review: An Announcement

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen! For all you Twilight fans (open AND closet), I will be doing an intensive review of the Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer’s famous vampire romance novels. Thoughts on characters, plots, mistakes, and tangents will be listed and my own opinions will be shared with you wonderful readers.

Howdy everyone! I know I haven’t been updating much, but I just got a killer assignment out of the way (who knew theoretical criminology could be so annoying?), and I have another ready to land the knockout punch. I also have been working on my other blog, The Suspension of Disbelief, which points out the errors in books and TV shows. Ever been annoyed by a little technical mistake? Then leave a comment there.

Usually the Twilight series would fall under that. But I want this review to be more than that; I want it to finally let the world see Twilight for what it is. What is it? That will have to wait till the review is finished.

So, to be thorough, these reviews will be posted in “clumps” of chapters, depending on how far I’ve read in the book. I’ll announce a deadline, so you guys can check it out whenever you want.

Alrighty, I’m off to get into Edward Cullen’s head. Though I’m sure the girls will be trying to get into somewhere else on Edward…..

P.S Check out the new blog, The Suspension of Disbelief!!
P.P.S There’s plenty of other cool stuff on this blog as well, check it out!

What was your favourite part of the first novel, TWILIGHT? Leave a comment and tell us about it!

New Twilight Book to be Released!!

That’s right, folks. Stephenie Meyer, author of the bestselling Twilight series, has announced today that she has finished writing her next book, unnamed as of the moment. In a short press release, she stated that:

The books [The other Twilight novels] end happily for most – but what about the fate of the other characters?….Leah Clearwater, the rest of the wolves, Renesmee….. This book gives them an ending as well….

Stephenie Meyer also said that she didn’t want to release this too widely as of yet, due to her concerns of leaks, as that was what had occurred with her unfinished novel, Midnight Sun. If we all recall, a draft of the novel was leaked before completion, causing her to cease working on it altogether. Hence, the short press release without giving away anymore details.

Other than the short excerpt above, Stephenie Meyer was tight-lipped about the date of release, the title, the plot, or any other relevant information. She refused further comment until closer to the release date.

I don’t know about you, but I’m excited! Wonder if the Volturi will appear?

For more information, see this page.

[UPDATE]: For a limited time only, you can now pre-order the new book online! The link to the site can be found here. Get it while you can!

A new Twilight book? What’s going to happen? Remember to leave a comment and tell us your thoughts!

[UPDATE]: Yes, this was just an April Fools Day Prank. No, Stephenie Meyer ISN’T going to release a new novel for the Twilight series anytime soon. Sorry, and hope you had a happy April Fools Day!